


The Baby Blues

by JustSomeGirl92



Series: Baby, I love you [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Drunk Sex, Fluff, Hooking up, M/M, Mentions of Abortion, Mentions of Violence, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Pre Relationship, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, alchol use, lots and lots of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 19:03:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13619730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustSomeGirl92/pseuds/JustSomeGirl92
Summary: Keith finds out the hard way that his Galra genes allow him to carry a baby. He never intended to get pregnant with Lance's child in the middle of an intergalactic war. Now he must face his toughest decision yet.





	The Baby Blues

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [The Baby Blues](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14058909) by [DreamerX2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamerX2/pseuds/DreamerX2)



> So, this takes place mostly between seasons three and four. There are a few changes to the time line and I'm pretending that the Shiro they find is the real Shiro. Also, Keith and Lance are twenty. I kind of low key consider all my fics to take place in different realities so that's how I justify these differences. More importantly, there are a lot of sensitive subjects in this fic that I want to caution you about. There are mentions of abortion and miscarriage and a lot of the story revolves around Kieth deciding to keep his baby or not. I won't spoil it for you but just be aware that it may be difficult to read. This is a lot of self indulgence for me, I'll admit. I needed to write something very angsty and get this idea off my chest. I do hope you enjoy it but I also understand if this is not something you want to read. Please be kind to yourself!!

Keith was doing better with the whole interplanetary relations thing. It was easier once he’d developed strong bonds with the other paladins. It made all the difference for Keith to know that when the crowd got too much all he had to do was lock eyes with one of his team mates and they would save him or at least offer a sympathetic smile and eye roll at being stuck in the same awkward situation.

The support of his team made it bearable to interact with the grateful inhabitants of liberated planets but what made these parties actually enjoyable was Lance. And Keith was currently enjoying his fellow paladin very much.

“Keith, hold on my leg is cramping….ah shit…”

“Ah! Fuck! Don’t stop now.”

“Sorry, sorry…..oh fuck Keith…” Lance bit his lip, struggling to maneuver properly in this tiny closet. Keith didn’t give him much leeway, eager for the other paladin to keep fucking him hard against the wall. Lance spun the dark haired boy around to face him and lifted him, pinning Keith against the wall.

“Lance. Shit.” Keith’s legs wrapped around his waist and squeezed.

“Fuck I’m close….Oh fuck!”

“Lance. Lance. Lance! I’m almost there, almost….”

They only did this when they were drunk. That was the rule. An unspoken one. Keith couldn’t even remember the name of the planet where they had first started this. Did he grab Lance and pull him in for a kiss or had Lance grabbed him? Everything was still blurred, the amount of alcohol or whatever the alien equivalent was, had been more than enough to send both of their inhibitions out the window. Though Keith was sure he had been the one to start things. Yea, he knew Lance was into dudes as well as girls and he’d actually casually mentioned several times that he thought Keith was very good looking. But he said that about Hunk and Allura all the time and as far as Keith knew Lance had never stuck his tongue down their throats and fucked them so hard against a brick wall in an open courtyard garden that they couldn't walk properly afterwards. But, that's what had happened that first time between. Keith had known he was in deep as he lay on that alien planet, half naked on the grass and staring up at the dark sky. Lance had pulled up his own pants and sat beside Keith, asked if he was okay and stroked his hair until he was ready to clean himself up and join the others.

They never talked about it again.

It was two months later when they were drinking at a party thrown a newly liberated planet to show their gratitude. This time Lance had subtly approached him, inclined his head towards a secluded hall and raised an eyebrow. Keith had nodded, downed the rest of his drink and followed after Lance. He knew then that he would follow the blue paladin anywhere. Things were different now. Lance wasn’t the blue paladin anymore, but the red. Still, some things between them couldn’t be changed.

Despite being drunk, Lance’s pull out game was still strong. Keith never said anything about it, that would be breaking one the unspoken rules, but he appreciated that even drunk off his ass Lance was still considerate.

The red paladin dropped down on his knees after he’d finished, taking Keith in his mouth. He came in what felt like mere seconds. Keith could only slide down the wall afterwards, legs like jelly as he caught his breath. He was vaguely aware of Lance wiping him clean and redressing himself before he reached out to pull Keith up.

 _I never get to see him totally naked_.

It was a weird thought for Keith to have as he looked up at Lance’s face. The tall boy had his head cocked slightly, blue eyes bright against his flushed face and a soft smile on his red lips. Keith gripped the offered hand and Lance easily hauled him to his feet, letting Keith drape his weight on him.

“That good, huh?” Lance chuckled, wrapping his arms around Keith to keep him as upright as possible.

“Shut up.” The alcohol told Keith it would be fine to wrap his arms around Lance as well. When he did, Lance just chuckled again and gave Keith a squeeze. They stayed like that for what felt like an overly long time. Keith didn’t want this to end. It was rare that he got to hold onto Lance without it being sexual. He expected Lance to break things up a lot sooner but he didn’t, even going so far as to gently rock Keith in his arms as they stood together.

He knew it was wrong to indulge himself when he had such a huge crush on Lance. It was only asking for trouble. Keith hated the way his heart sank and his stomach knotted up whenever he saw Lance flirt with someone else. But once they were both a few cups in, Lance would always find him.

It got easier to deceive himself, pretend that these meetings meant as little to him as they did to Lance. So Keith started lying even more. He pretended to be drunk but he wasn't. Just downing enough to take the edge off, enough to stop himself from over thinking as usual, enough to enjoy himself. Lance didn’t need to know.

Honestly, Lance was probably too drunk to notice if Keith was or not. He never touched Keith sober, would probably never dream of doing so. But drunk Lance seemed to be a completely different person. His blue eyes lit up when he saw Keith and he smiled. His hands were always on the dark haired boy, on his shoulders, his biceps, in his hair. That was even before they scurried off to some secret corner.

Finally, Keith pulled away a little and readjusted his clothes. Lance let his arms drop and smiled. He waited for Keith to make himself presentable before slowly pushing open the closet door and checking that the coast was clear. He gave Keith one last kiss on the lips and a wink before heading back out to the party.

XXXX

 

They were busy now, way too busy. They were still looking for Shiro and the longer he was gone the more concerned Keith grew. He didn’t even want to be the black paladin in the first place and now it seemed like they were never going to get their proper leader back. Keith couldn’t even dedicate much time to looking for him with the constant threat of the galra keeping them all on their toes. On top of that, they hadn’t liberated a new planet in weeks.

What Keith really needed was Lance. Lance’s hands on his hips and thighs. Lance’s lips on his neck, tongue in his mouth. Lance’s thick cock inside him, breaking him apart. Those soft Spanish words whispered in his ear, fingers carding through his hair and soothing the tension right out of him. Lance’s strong arms holding him close, lifting him, pushing him against a wall. Fuck, it was the best stress relief Keith ever had.

One night while unable to sleep, Keith had a vague notion of maybe going into the kitchen and seeing if they had any of that nunvil stuff or something vaguely alcoholic. What he would do if he found some was a complete mystery. Casually offer some to Lance to get him drunk enough to fuck? No that was super creepy and predatory. He could just casually sit in the lounge and drink until Lance inevitably came to bother him and would definitely ask for some. That was a better plan but it still felt wrong. It was still setting Lance up to get wasted and take advantage of him.

Keith knew even as he turned the corner and walked into the kitchen that he was probably just going to eat one of those snack bars Hunk made and go to bed without even looking for the alcohol.

“Aha!”

Keith jumped as he walked in the door, the loud exclamation startling him. “Lance?”

The other paladin turned around, looking equally surprised. He had a strange looking bottle in his hand and his face slowly morphed into a smile when he saw Keith.

“Hey, buddy!” Lance grinned.

“What’s that?” Keith asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Hunk got it thinking it was close to cooking sherry. He sai dit doesn’t work that great though,” Lance shrugged. “So, you wanna get fucked up?”

Keith just looked at him. Lance swished the liquid around in the bottle, trying to tempt him.Keith still didn’t respond even as he got closer and held out his hand. Lance’s expression changed to a grin as he passed the bottle off. His blue eyes stayed on Keith’s face as the other paladin took a long swig before handing it back.

Keith didn’t meet Lance’s eyes but their fingers brushed when Lance took the bottle from him. Turning away, Keith perched himself on the counter. Lance wiped his mouth with the back of his hand after taking a swig and hopped up to join Keith on the counter.

Wordlessly, the new red paladin handed the bottle over again. Keith took another long swig, wondering if Lance noticed the fact that even though he looked like he was taking a large gulp, Keith only allowed a small portion of alcohol into his mouth. He wanted his head clear, wanted to remember.

Keith waited for Lance to take another swig and set the bottle down between them before speaking. “What were you going to do if I hadn’t come in? Drink alone?”

Lance shrugged.

“Why?” Keith asked. Again, Lance only shrugged.

Keith reached for the bottle pretending to take a swig. Even the small amount of alcohol was hitting him now. He felt warm and a little light headed but his mind was still clear enough. “Homesick?”

Lance finally looked at him then. Maybe it was something in Keith’s voice, the way he spoke softly and earnestly but Lance had an expression like he was about to say something important. Keith waited, watching Lance close his mouth as he offered the taller boy the bottle.

“Something like that,” Lance finally replied, shrugging it off like always. He took a swig and offered the bottle without looking at Keith.

The dark haired boy took it and moved closer. Everyone got home sick, well except maybe Keith. It was just that it seemed to bother Lance the most. At least that’s what Keith assumed caused Lance’s random bouts of quiet, staring out at space with an expression like he was far away.

Lance glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, clearly fighting a smile when Keith’s shoulder pressed into his. Keith returned the smile, handing over the bottle. Lance took a swig and Keith’s eyes were glued to his throat as he swallowed. When he took the bottle from his lips, Lance set it down behind him and pulled Keith close.

XXXX

Lance’s laugh was really nice. Keith liked hearing it but what he liked even better was being the one to cause it. For a split second, Keith just stared at Lance’s face as he laughed, pressed up against Keith’s bedroom door. Dipping his head, Keith kissed the other boy’s collarbone again. Just like last time, Lance laughed.

Fascinated, Keith tried again, this time, kissing behind Lance’s ear and then his cheek, his jaw, the tip of his nose. Lance continued to laugh and Keith adored it. His kisses became quicker, soft little pecks all over Lance’s stupidly perfect face.

“Keith!” Lance finally gasped, out of breath. Keith pulled back a little to respond but Lance wrapped his arms around the dark haired boy and kissed him, walking backwards towards the bed. Keith’s knees hit the edge and folded. His hands fisted in Lance’s jacket and pulled him down on top.

“Oof!” Lance made a noise as he fell onto Keith. Trying to apologise, Lance used one arm to lift his weight back off him but Keith’s mouth was on his again and he was pulling Lance down against him. Giving into it, Lance closed his eyes and kissed him back.

Even though he wasn’t exactly drunk, Keith was tipsy and his head was spinning with each press of Lance’s lips against his mouth, his cheek, his jaw, his neck. He wasn’t wearing his jacket but didn't remember when he took it off or even if he’d had it at all. Lance was still wearing his but when Keith started sliding it off, Lance obliged by shifting his shoulders and tossing it to Keith's floor. Instantly Keith's hands started pushing up Lance’s shirt, affecting the way Lance was trying to pull him close.

With a huff of impatience, Lance pulled back and tossed the shirt away, not even being thoughtful enough to allow Keith a good look before his arms were around the dark haired boy again and he was pressing their chests together. Lance’s lips latched onto Keith’s and no amount of tugging at their clothes was going to dislodge him again.

Lance’s tongue felt nice as it slipped into Keith’s mouth. His back was warm and his muscles strained under Keith’s palms. Lance had a nice back, a swimmer’s back. Keith groaned against his lips which Lance seemed to enjoy. Suddenly his lips were trailing over Keith’s neck, tongue lapping at the hollow of his throat and teeth nipping over his skin. Keith traced a long scar across Lance’s shoulder blade with his finger, liking the noise that the other boy made.

Lance’s hand was in his, lacing their fingers together and Keith let his hands slide down Lance’s sides. He didn’t offer any protest when Lance pulled away, tugging Keith's shirt up over his head.

Sometimes Lance was gentle and sometimes he was rough but he was always passionate. Maybe it was the alcohol that made him like that or maybe it was just how Lance was. Either way, it never failed to surprise Keith. He should have been used to it by now but he wasn’t. Lance still took his breath away when he worked his mouth over Keith’s body like he was now, carefully moving down his chest and torso.

Keith arched his back, gaze focused up on the ceiling. The sound of his name being spoken didn’t really register at first. Then Lance said it again and Keith realised he'd stopped. Frowning, Keith let his head flop to the side as he looked down at the other paladin. Lance’s hands were on his hips, thumbs hooked into Keith’s waist band. He was frowning up at Keith.

“Did you pass out, dude?” Lance asked, his voice soft. He was still under the impression that Keith had had quite a bit to drink. “Should I keep going?”

Despite being more sober than not, Keith still wasn't functioning as he should have been. His mind was foggy and he was so focused on wanting Lance to tug his pants the rest of the way down that he was thrown by the question.

Keith shook his head.

“You wanna stop?” Lance clarified, moving his hands away and lifting himself off of Keith.

“No!” Keith reached out a hand to stop Lance. The other boy stilled, waiting, “I meant I didn’t pass out, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Lance asked. Something in his expression had changed. It was subtle but Keith noticed. It looked like guilt but that didn’t make any sense.

“I’m sure,” Keith said firmly before Lance could get too into his own head.

Somehow they were both moving, Keith pushing on Lance’s shoulders and Lance turning them both until he was on his back with Keith on top of him. There was a split second where they looked at each other, eyes meeting in a moment of clarity and vulnerability but it was gone as quick as it had happened.

Keith tried not to read too much into it as they shuffled out of the rest of their clothes. _Just one of those drunk things_ , he though as he reached for the lube in his bedside drawer. He drew out the small tube, just the right size to fit in the pockets of his formal robes just in case.

Lance’s thumbs rubbed circles in his hips as Keith straddled him, opening the tube. “Let me,” Lance murmured.

Keith hesitated but handed it over before leaning forward. His lips easily found the spots on Lance’s neck and chest that got him to make those soft little noises Keith often found himself dreaming about.

Lance was gentle and careful, like always. His fingers were so slim and nimble as he worked Keith open. The dark haired boy tried not to moan too much, biting his tongue and the inside of his cheek but Lance knew what he was doing. It didn’t take him long to find just the right spot to make Kieth start panting and mewling. He could feel the rumble of laughter in Lance’s chest and his whole body flushed. He hated that. Feeling so exposed and open, letting Lance see this side of him and knowing that Keith was so vulnerable. Keith waited for the teasing but Lance never said anything, never made him feel embarrassed or ashamed of his reactions.

Lance’s other hand rubbed his back in soothing circles and Kieth felt like he could cum right then. He had to stop it, couldn’t let himself fall into that trap. It was one thing to be with Lance and pretend for a few moments that the other paladin actually desired him but it was something else to tumble into this weird pit of domesticity and comfort. It would be too easy to lay down at the bottom and all but impossible to climb back out if he did.

“It’s good,” Keith muttered, shifting away from Lance’s chest and making a grab for the lube. Lance just nodded in understanding, letting his hands fall limply away.

Keith worked Lance’s cock gently, slathering the lube and watching his face. His blue eyes were closed and his jaw was clenched tight, letting out soft breaths on each stroke. Lance swallowed and Keith watched his adam’s apple move. When Lance opened his eyes again, Keith looked away, shifting himself up on his knees and gripping Lance’s cock in one hand.

Keith sank down slowly, watching Lance’s eyes widen and a soft groan escape his lips. Keith hadn't been able to really enjoy this before. They were always rushed and quiet, half dressed and fumbling in a closet or a dark corner. Now he would let his eyes rove over Lance’s body. His shoulders were wide and his chest was broad, tapering into a narrow waist with Keith’s thighs on either side.

Lance’s large hands gently cupped Keith's hips, finger digging in as Keith started to move slowly. Lance’s cock dragged inside him and Keith let his head fall back as he basked in it.

Keith didn't know how Lance remembered these little things about him, like the way that he loved having his hair tugged and his neck bitten. Lance shouldn’t have been able to remember anything with how hurried and far between these sessions were, not to mention the fact that Lance was alway shit faced. Somehow he seemed to know, like he had Keith catalogued, everything hidden away in a file at the back of his mind that the taste of alcohol brought forward. Keith didn’t know if he liked that idea or if it terrified him.

Of course Keith knew what Lance liked, remembered the way his breath would catch when Keith raked his nails down the other paladin’s back. He knew how hard Lance would cum if Keith whispered in his ear how nice he felt and just how good he was at fucking him. He also knew how much Lance liked kisses. He liked them before, during and after. He liked them on his lips, his jaw, his neck, everywhere Keith could reach.

Since he had more access now, Keith took advantage of his position, kissing Lance over his chest and shoulders. He really seemed to like it when Keith ran his tongue over his nipples. The other paladin clenched his jaw and hissed sharply. Keith did it again.

“Keith, fuck I’m gonna cum…” Lance groaned in warning. His hands tightened on Keith’s hips, pulling him down on each thrust.

“It’s okay, cum in me,” Keith said without thinking. He just didn’t want this to stop, didn’t want it to end. Lance opened his eyes.

“I don’t have….” Lance cut himself off with a groan.

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Keith panted. He leaned forward and kissed him, cutting off Lance’s concerns

When it was over Keith was exhausted. His legs felt like jelly and he was sore in the best ways. Already feeling light headed, it seemed as though the world was out of focus when Lance carefully turned them on their sides and pulled out.

“You okay?” Lance asked. Keith’s eyes were closed but he threw an arm over them anyway, feeling the need to hide.

“Yea. Just give me minute,” Keith muttured. Lance chuckled and Keith felt the press of lips against his own before the bed dipped and Lance’s weight was gone.

“Take your time,” Lance assured him. There was a rustling noise that was probably Lance dressing and then the sound of a door. Keith knew he was alone in the room without looking. Lance’s absence was always palatable.

After a moment Keith sighed and dropped his arm from his face. He was just mentally preparing himself to get up and head to the shower when the sound of a door opening startled him. Keith blinked at Lance emerging from the bathroom in his underwear, holding a cloth.

“Hey,” Lance smirked, sitting on the edge of the bed. Keith just continued to stare at him. Lance held up the cloth and raised a brow. “May I?”

Keith’s eyes moved from the cloth to Lance’s face and back before he frowned. Slowly he nodded his head, still unsure what he was agreeing to. Lance beamed at him, there was really no other way to describe that smile.

His hands were warm and gentle as he carefully cleaned Keith off. He kept making eye contact that was at once reassuring and incredibly embarrassing. Keith blushed but Lance didn’t mention it.

“There,” he declared. Lance stood and dropped the cloth in the laundry before turning out the light and crawling up the bed to settle in beside Keith. The dark haired boy turned on his side, watching him curiously. Lance carefully settled the blanket around them and draped an arm over Keith. “Good night,” he grinned, kissing Keith’s forehead.He blushed as Lance closed his eyes and settled in beside him, face almost buried in Keith’s neck.

His body was tense for a moment as he got used to the feeling of Lance holding him and the soft breath on his collarbone. Slowly, Keith’s hand came up, fingers threading through Lance’s soft hair. The other paladin hummed happily and Keith stroked his hair until they both fell asleep.

XXXX

Even though they’d managed to find Shiro, the stupid black lion wouldn’t even take him back. Keith was frustrated but he didn't know what to do at this point. What could he do?

Shiro was still recovering but he was making progress and at least they had his steady presence back. Keith had someone to confide in again but there were some things that he couldn't even tell Shiro. Namely, Lance. Keith’s feelings for him only seemed to be growing stronger as they found themselves together more often, using any excuse to drink and hook up. Lance continued to stay the night each time and Keith was getting dangerously used to having those familiar arms around him at night.

He hated it.

What made everything worse was the night Lance had asked if he wanted a drink and Keith had hesitated. He wanted to so badly but didn’t think it was a good idea to be intoxicated in case they were attacked. Lance had watched Keith fret, worrying at his bottom lip. His violet eyes darted back and forth between Lance’s face and the bottle in his hands.

Catching on, Lance replaced the bottle in the cupboard and Keith’s stomach dropped. But then Lance’s lips were on his anyways and Keith didn’t know which way was up.

“We don’t have to get drunk to hook up,” Lance said carefully. His voice was low and soft, comforting, like he was trying not to spook a timid animal. “We’re adults, right? We can admit we want to fuck. It’s normal. Hooking up, right? It’s what young adults do.”

Keith had nodded, unable to combat that logic. Now he wished he’d pushed Lance away and told him not to bother hooking up with Keith again. He wished he’d ended it then, just stopped it all before it could get this far.

The little bubble of hope that formed when Lance kissed him again steadily grew over the next few days and made Keith want to vomit. He hated the feeling of warmth and happiness he got when he heard Lance snore softly beside him at night or woke up to Lance’s blue eyes blinking blearily at him.  
This was not what Keith’s life was meant to be. This was not what he was meant for and Keith knew it. He hated letting himself be this soft and this fucking stupid. He’d only have himself to blame when it all blew up in his face and left him broken and hurting. Maybe that’s why he let it continue, let himself lean into Lance’s morning kisses and slide his fingers through Lance’s hair when he slept with his head on Keith's chest. Maybe he just liked to punish himself.

XXXX

Keith felt awful. This time it was physical. His head was still spinning and the taste of vomit was still sticking to his tongue. Bracing himself on the sink, Keith leaned close to the mirror, looking at the bags under his eyes. He couldn't sleep much lately. His stomach bothered him and he had been rudely awaken with sudden, violent nausea for the past week.

So far no one had said anything about the dark circles or how pale he looked. He’d been able to continue training for most of the day as usual but he’d been forced to turn the setting lower. It infuriated Keith to no end. What made it worse was Lance commenting on it, trying to pretend like he was worried. Keith knew he was gloating to himself, pleased with how quickly Keith was tiring out, getting slow. His body ached more and it came on quickly. His exhaustion hit him like a solid force throughout the day and he found himself wanting to curl up in bed.

Even that didn’t help though. Something felt off when he laid down. He felt alone, vulnerable. Keith’s anxiety started to sky rocket when he most wanted to sleep. He felt cold and somehow even the smell was off.

Slowly, Keith to brushed his teeth, at least taking care of the vomit taste. He glanced longing at his bed in the mirror. If he could just go back to sleep….

Keith was always up early. He was an early riser and he didn’t mind that. To avoid suspicion, Keith knew he couldn’t go back to bed. He just had to carry on like everything was normal. Like he’d gotten up all on his own this morning without the projectile vomiting and ache in his joints.

Carefully going through his regular morning routine helped Keith at least start to wake up a little more and by the time he was done he was ready to see everyone at breakfast.

No one else was in the hall as he made his way to the kitchen. As he got closer, Keith could hear  the voices of his friends and his heart squeezed in his chest. A warmth spread over him and he felt an all encompassing sense of contentment, of safety. His stomach had settled as he left his room and now he realised how famished he suddenly was. Whatever was on the menu for breakfast smelled heavenly.

When the door slid open and Keith entered, all eyes turned to him. Suddenly Keith didn’t feel content and happy. He felt like a trapped animal. They were all looking at him with that same strange expression. Everyone had gone very quiet.

“Good morning,” Hunk was the first to speak. “Are you hungry?” Keith got the distinct impression that there was a wrong answer to that question. He was relieved when he nodded and that seemed to have been correct. Hunk smiled then and the tension the yellow paladin had held in his shoulders relaxed. “Good!”

Keith hesitated, briefly meeting Lance’s eye as he headed to the seat between him and Shiro. He felt better beside Lance, safer. Lance met his eye unwavering, his expression unnerving. It was like he was looking right into Keith, searching for something.

Keith looked around at all of their faces as he sat down at the table. Hunk hummed, his mood seemed to have improved as he slid a plate in front of Keith. They were all still getting used to the odd look and smell of the food but Hunk had spent so much time and effort to know what tasted good together and the best ways to prepare the ingredients to mimic earth foods.

Keith took a bite of whatever Hunk had give him. It tasted like an omelette. Warm and gooey and cheesy. It warmed him from the inside out. Hunk beamed when Keith started eating with more vigour.

Quietly, Pidge set down a cup beside him. It was steaming, the smell comforting even though Keith couldn’t quite place it. He looked up at her quizzically.

“It’s kind of like a herbal tea,” she said, shrugging her small shoulders. Pidge gave him a smile and Keith returned it. He picked up the cup and took a tentative sip. It was just as warm and comforting as the food. Sighing, Keith leaned back in his chair and relaxed, contentedly sipping his drink with a full belly.

Something was wrong.

Keith tensed again, setting the cup down and leaning forward. Why was everyone being so weird and trying to lull him into a sense of security? They must be up to something.

Lance frowned and looked like he was about to say something but stopped himself. He glanced at Shiro who sighed.

“Keith.”

Keith turned to look at Shiro carefully. He raised an eyebrow, waiting.

“We’re worried about you,” Shiro said simply. He held his hands out, palms open in a placating gesture. “You’re not feeling well. You need to take care of yourself.”

“How do you know how I feel?” Keith demanded.

“We’ve noticed the dark circles and the lack of appetite,” Shiro replied calmly. Pidge and Hunk looked away. Shiro glanced at Lance but he turned his face away from Keith too. “You’re tiring yourself out more quickly than you should be and you’ve been…”

Keith’s eyes narrowed. He felt trapped and exposed. They noticed. They were watching him closely enough to notice these changes. He felt oddly comforted knowing that his team cared enough but it wasn’t something Keith was used to. Part of him was angry, maybe even scared. No one paid that much attention to him before, unless they were looking for a weakness.

“I’ve been what?” Keith snapped.

“Emotional,” Allura answered gently. Keith scowled but didn’t get the chance to answer.

“I think what everyone is trying to say is that we’d like your permission to check that everything is a-ok with our current black paladin,” Coran said.

Keith frowned, turning away. He didn’t need a checkup but if it would get everyone off his back…

“It’s probably just fatigue and stress,” Allura added. “But we’d really like to be sure.”

“I can’t just take a sick day,” Keith argued, crossing his arms over his chest. He couldn't look Allura in the eyes when she spoke that softly and looked so concerned. He didn’t think he could say no to her.

“It will only take a few ticks,” Coran assured him brightly. “And if we know what it is I might be able to whip up something that could help and get you in tip top fighting shape again!”

Keith grimaced but couldn't think of any way to argue.

“Please, Keith?” Lance spoke for the first time and Keith felt his whole body tense. He couldn't say no to Lance. Why did he have to care? Couldn’t he just leave Keith alone or make a joke about him being weak?

Keith accidentally met his eyes. Lance looked vulnerable. He didn’t appear to be up for joking. When Keith looked a little closer he could see that Lance had dark circles too. Not quite as bad but he’d clearly not gotten a good rest the last few nights.

“Fine,” Keith muttered. “As long as it’s just a few ticks.”

Lance’s shoulders slumped in relief.

They waited until after breakfast though no one ate much after the discussion. The air seemed less tense now but there was still a sense of worry. It seemed quiet and then Keith realised it was because Lance hadn’t spoken again after pleading with him.

He remained silent as they followed Coran to the healing pods and he pulled out some equipment. None of it rang any bells for Keith but he submitted to the examinations without complaint. Coran made a few noises as he thought to himself, idly stroking his moustache.

At least none of the tests were invasive, mostly just various scans.

“Aha, nothing major to worry about,” Coran declared, setting down the data pad he’d been studying.

“Told you,” Keith muttered under his breath.  
“Okay, that’s good! So what is it then? Just stress?’ Lance asked, speaking more than he had all morning.

“Oh well, a little more than that,” Coran admitted with a shrug. “I mean, it’s not so much a problem now but as time goes on we may need to get...creative?”

“What does that mean?” Pidge asked with an impatient frown. “Creative with what, exactly?”

“Well it appears that number four here is pregnant.”

XXXX

The room was completely silent. Everyone just stood there in different states of shock and discomfort. Keith felt oddly calm.

“No I’m not.”

Coran squinted at the data again and Keith couldn’t help glancing at Allura. She looked the most stricken out of all of them. Eyes wide and hands covering her mouth. He pointedly did not look at Lance so he certainly did not see the other paladin’s concerned expression and pinched eyebrows, thank you very much.

“I’m sorry but it appears these scans are in fact accurate,” Coran shrugged.

“Um, Coran, that’s not possible,” Shiro said tentatively.

“Oh?” the Altean raised an eyebrow curiously before turning to Keith. “Have you not been sexually active?”

“Human males can’t get pregnant,” Shiro quickly cut the older man off. “Well, most anyway.” Coran looked interested at that but Shiro kept the conversation on track. “I’ll explain later but the point is, like most human males Keith doesn’t have the right...um….reproductive equipment for that.”

“He’s part Galra,” Allura said. Her voice was more of a whisper and she was looking straight at Keith.

“So?” the dark haired boy frowned and stood, done with this complete waste of time.

Allura stepped forward, laying a hand on Keith’s shoulder. “Gender doesn’t play as much of a role for the Galra when it comes to bearing children. Not like humans.” She paused and looked at Coran for a better explanation.

The older Altean was happy to oblige and cleared his throat, obviously preparing to be delicate in his delivery. “You see, number four, Galra are equipped with secondary reproductive organs. Generally they are dormant but if a Galra happens to form a mate bond with another of the same gender then certain hormones will slowly be released into their system that tells these reproductive organs to become active and allow the bearing of a child or-”

“No.”

Coran blinked when Keith cut him off with a scowl. He opened his mouth to say something but only gave the paladin a sympathetic look.

“I’m so sorry, Keith,” Allura said softly. She almost looked close to tears which didn’t make any sense to Keith. “I should have mentioned it to you. I didn’t even think…. I had no idea that…..” Keith didn’t miss the way that her large eyes cut to Lance for the briefest moment before settling back on Keith. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Allura,” Lance said softly.

“No, it’s not,” Keith echoed. He didn’t look at any of them as he pressed past them and left the room.

XXXX

To say that things on the castle ship were tense was an understatement. No one mentioned Keith’s situation again but they all knew they were thinking about it. Lance didn’t come to him again since they found out and Keith didn’t blame him for that.

In true Keith fashion he decided to handle it on his own. For one thing, asking for help was probably the most difficult thing in the world and for another, he didn’t want to appear weak.

Allura did attempt to apologise again and this time Keith was able to handle it a bit better. He assured her that it wasn't her fault and he didn’t blame her. He could tell she still felt guilty though.

Shiro tried to talk to him a few times but Keith would only sit in stubborn silence or repeat over and over that he had things handled. Shiro never told him in so many words but Keith knew that everyone was well aware whose baby he was carrying. It was beyond mortifying. He couldn’t even look at Lance anymore.

After a few days of getting used to this bizarre news, Keith knew exactly what he had to do. It was harder than he’d anticipated to get Coran alone but he managed to corner the older man after dinner one night.

“What can I do for you, my boy?” Coran asked. He was clearly eager to help and his expression was sympathetic. Keith drew in a breah.

“Is there...Is there any way that you can take it out?” he asked. He cut right to the chase, knowing it would be difficult to express.

“Excuse me?’ Coran blinked, obviously not expecting that request.

“The thing in me,” Keith reiterated before hesitantly placing a hand on his stomach. He never called it a baby, not even in his own mind.

“I….Would you want that?” the Altean asked softly. “This is...it’s a big decision and not one you should rush or make all on your own. Perhaps you should discuss-”

“There’s nothing to discuss and no one to discuss it with,” Keith insisted with a scowl. “I can’t fight Zarkon if I can barely move. A space war is not the time to be pregnant, Coran.”

“Well, no I suppose not…” Coran trailed off, looking away from Keith. His shoulder slumped and his expression looked haunted for a moment but he quickly snapped out of it. “I think I may be able to synthesize something that will cause you to…” he made a gesture that could really be anything but that Keith took to mean miscarry. “It will take about a week considering I’m starting from scratch so it will give you some time to think things through some more. Maybe-”

“Thanks, Coran,” Keith cut him off again, already on his way out.

His stomach sank and Keith felt his chest squeeze to the point it was hard to breath. He had to wait a whole week….

When he returned to his room, Keith didn’t even make it to the bed, just sat on the floor with his back against the closed door and cried. Keith knew what the right decision was. He couldn't keep this...this thing….

He fought the urge to lay a protective hand over his stomach. _Don’t get attached. Don’t get attached. Don’t get attached._

It had to go. Just like everything Keith loved, it had to leave. He’d spent the last few days convincing himself, going over all the reason he couldn’t possibly carry this thing inside him and fight such an important war. Even after everything was said and done there were so many factors, so many reason he couldn't do this. There was no way.

He wanted it done, over with. The longer it went on the more attached Keith got and the more desperately he wanted this situation to have the opposite outcome. He didn’t know if he would still be strong enough in a week to do what he knew he had to.

Finally as he cried himself dry he admitted to himself that more than anything in the universe he wanted to have Lance’s baby.

XXXX

Lance could hear Keith through their shared wall, heard him sobbing harder than he ever had. Lance didn’t even try to keep out the sound.

He lay in bed, looking up at the ceiling, listening as hard as he could. Tears rolled down his cheeks and he fought the urge to go into Keith’s room to hold him tight. He knew Keith would probably break his nose for it. He was the one that put Kieth in this position after all.

_“No, it’s not.”_

Keith’s words repeated over and over in Lance’s head. He’d assured Allura it wasn’t her fault but the tone he used said there was clearly someone else he blamed. Lance.

He’d felt the guilt like a physical blow and it had stayed there in his chest ever since. It was so heavy, like an anchor or a lead weight crushing his heart.

He was such a selfish asshole. Lance had wanted to be with Keith, to have some fun and enjoy those few hours of pleasure and intimacy when they spent the night together. It was the happiest he’d ever been, sleeping in Keith’s arms and because he’d gotten that brief taste of something good, Keith had to suffer.

It didn't matter that Lance hadn’t known this could happen. As far as he was concerned, that fact was totally irrelevant. It was his fault, plain and simple.

XXXX

Keith wasn’t very hungry the next morning but everyone kept watching him. They pretend like they weren’t but it was so obvious. They catalogued every bite he took and Hunk even went through the trouble of making things that Keith particularly enjoyed.

Keith still didn’t know how Hunk figured out his favorites. He never said anything directly and always ate whatever he was given without complaint.

Maybe Hunk had some kind of magic. Probably the same magic Allura and Coran had that told them when Keith needed a distraction. The same way Shiro knew when the confusing emotions swirling in his head were too much for Keith and prodded him into opening up just a little. Even Pidge knew when Keith was exhausted and lonely and just needed someone to sit quietly in the same room. Her typing and soft hums to herself were reassuring and if Pidge sometimes leaned against his shoulder and he ran his finger through her hair like Matt used to do when she was little, neither of them mentioned it.

The only one that seemed completely oblivious to him was Lance.

In a way it was better. There was no reason that anything should change anyways. They still hadn’t spoken about it and Keith didn’t want to. It was better that Lance just continue to assume Keith’s situation had absolutely nothing at all to do with him. Which it didn’t. Keith would sooner see the inside of a Weblum again before admitting that Lance had played an integral part in getting Kieth into this mess.

This morning was different though, this morning even Lance was watching him with concern which only made it harder to choke down the food. They all tried to keep the conversation going as usual, avoiding the awkward silence but it was difficult without Lance’s participation. He always seemed to know the right things to say, what to ask and how to prod the others along. Keith liked being able to just sit back and listen but today there were long stalls and he knew exactly what everyone was thinking about during these silences.

Unsurprisingly, Keith was the first one to leave the table. He politely thanked Hunk before heading back to his room. He just needed to be alone right now, having no energy to keep up any sort of charade at normalcy. Someone didn’t seem to get the memo.

Keith could hear footsteps following him down the hall and he paused just before his door. “Shiro, I’m fine. I just-” Keith froze mid turn. Lance looked back at him sheepishly, a hand on the back of his neck.

“Keith, can we talk please?’ he asked. He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes at all. They pleaded with Keith silently and though he wanted to say no, Keith relented.

“Fine,” he sighed, feeling his chest tighten and his stomach tie itself into knots. Keith led the way into his room and closed the door firmly behind them. “What?”

Lance shifted his weight from one foot to the other, hands stuffed in his pockets. Keith waited, arms crossed over his chest. He tried to school his expression into something impassive but inside his emotions jumped over each other, trying to get out.

“I know you never….That you haven't said anything but…” Lance paused and looked at Keith almost sheepishly. He took a breath and visibly steadied himself. “It’s mine.”

Keith said nothing but his expression seemed to be enough of a confirmation to Lance. Unsure what exactly he should expect, Keith was a little thrown when Lance had to hide a small smile before continuing.

“I mean. Obviously, yea. It’s just that since you didn’t say anything to me I thought, maybe not. I mean, it’s not like you’re obligated to me or anything so if you were with someone else or whatever that would be fine and I’d still support you and everything. We all would but I just…” Lance stopped his rambling, watching Keith intently. A flurry of emotions flickered through Keith’s violet eyes. “Okay, I really just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I’m really sorry that I didn’t...that I didn’t protect you I guess. That I got you into this because I wanted to...to have some fun and I didn’t consider the consequences-”

“It’s fine,” Keith waved a hand to silence the other paladin. “Everything was consensual. I wanted it to.” Lance’s face lit up and Keith quickly plowed ahead. “You didn’t know. You couldn't have known. It’s not your fault. I don’t hold you accountable for any of it and I don’t expect anything from you. I haven’t told any of the others so as far as they know it has nothing to do with you. You're off the hook, Lance.”

The taller boy blinked, clearly having thought this was going in a different direction. “They...they know,” he said quietly. “They all know anyway.”

“I didn’t tell them,” Keith replied defensively.

Lance waved a hand to placate him and took a step forwards. “That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that it...it doesn’t matter to me if they know. I want them to know. If you don’t then that's fine. I haven’t said anything, either. Promise! They all just guessed it on their own. We can deny it if you want but I just came here because I want to tell you that you don’t have to do this alone, okay? We’re all here for you but...I’m here for you the most.”

“Not everything in a competition, Lance,” Keith’s voice was quiet, defeated.

“I know that!” Lance huffed. “What I mean is that we’re in this together, Keith. We’re partners. Whatever you need from me, I’m here. You’re not alone. I promise I’ll be there, no matter what.”

Keith’s heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest and when Lance stepped in for a hug, Keith couldn’t stop the tears from coming. It was both everything he wanted and everything he feared.

Lance held him for what seemed like a long time, rubbing his back and swaying just a little. When Keith felt like he was strong enough, he pulled away from Lance and took a step back. Lance’s arms fell limply to his sides and he looked at the paladin across from him with concern.

“Thanks, Lance. I...I appreciate it,” Keith said, drawing himself back together. “But it’s fine. Everything is taken care of. Coran is getting something together for me. Something to make everything go back to normal.”

Keith didn’t notice Lance having to fight to keep his face neutral. “That’s what you decided you wanted?”

 _NO!_ He wanted to scream at Lance. _No, it’s not what I want! I want you! I want our baby!_

Keith nodded. “It’s the only way. It’s nothing...it’s not personal and it’s nothing to do with you. We have a war going on. It’s too dangerous. And in the long term….” Keith trailed off, thinking of his house in the desert. He could barely care for himself and that was no place to raise a baby. It wouldn't be fair. Their baby deserved a better life than what Keith could give. It was even harder when he looked at Lance and thought about how he could give the baby the life it deserved, with friends and family and an amazing father that was just so full of love and pride. But then he thought about Lance himself and his life and his future and he knew what he had to do for the boy he loved.

“It’s the only way,” Keith repeated. Lance nodded, accepting Keith’s choice. He drew him in for another tentative hug. Keith allowed himself to melt into Lance’s arms.

XXXX

The days continued on much the same as they had before. They didn’t meaet with any major threats, just continuing to clean up the battalions of galra soldiers still stationed on the planets that they freed. The Blade of Marmora were instrumental in rescuing these planets but it was Shiro, Allura and Coran who did most of the talking and political stuff, slowly adding more and more allies to the coalition.

Keith was the only one clearly having difficulty. His bond with Black didn’t feel as strong as it should be and he knew he was being too reckless. He was leaving too many openings, rookie mistakes that made him look sloppy and that had Lance pulling his hair out with stress and frustration.

Having Shiro back was a blessing in more ways than one because he was the perfect person for Lance to vent these frustrations too. Shiro knew exactly how Lance felt and was often pulling Keith aside to tell him these same things.

“I thought we were past this!” Lance groaned. He paced Shiro’s small room while the older man watched, arms crossed and a sympathetic expression on his face. “When you were gone Keith made a lot of progress. He was really listening to me. He stopped rushing in all the time. I mean not _all_ the time because this is Keith but still!”

Shiro nodded, knowing there was nothing for him to say yet. Lance just needed to get it all out first. He’d been so good for this long. Always there for Keith behind the scenes and staying strong but it was wearing on him. This situation was personal in a lot of ways.

“I’m so pissed of!” Lance cried, dropping onto Shiro’s bed. He bounced his leg quickly, elbows resting on his knees and hands folded over in front of his mouth.

“At Keith?” Shiro asked, sitting down carefully beside him.

“No!” Lance said as though the idea offended him, which honestly it kind of did. “I’m pissed at myself for not thinking about the consequences of my actions and I’m pissed off that his parents couldn’t even think to mention in passing, oh yea so by the way you’re part alien and there may be some fucked up shit with your body so watch out for that! Like what the actual quiznack, Shiro?!” Lance demanded, rounding on the older man with a spark of anger in his eyes. Shiro knew it wasn’t directed at him and just calmly watched Lance continue. “He’s twenty! He’s lived his whole life not know about this at all! He wasn't a virgin when I...when we…..”

Lance blushed and glanced at Shiro. This time, he did flinch slightly but it wasn't new information for him. Keith was something like a younger brother/best friend and Shiro had been his only confidant. While Keith didn’t divulge a lot of details, he did sometimes want to get things off his chest and it didn’t bother Shiro to hear but it was a little different hearing it from Lance. Shiro simply nodded and Lance continued with his train of thought.

“What if something had happened to him before? He didn’t even know he was Galra then, it would have been awful! What would they have done on Earth? These guys obviously weren’t exactly the type to be there for him either. I mean, you should have seen the looks he gave me when I did something even remotely decent…” Lance trailed off again, neither of them wanting to go into detail about how he would clean Kieth off and help him in the shower and rub his back or his hips and help him settle into a comfortable sleep.

“That’s not even taking into account that he could have had some weird medical issues that no doctors on Earth would have been able to treat. Like he could have died! He could have been taken by the government and experimented on or something fucked up like that! He didn’t know anything. We still don’t really know much. It just...it scares me, you know?”

“I do know,” Shiro agreed. He placed a gentle arm around Lance’s shoulder in reassurance. “It scares me too. But all we can do for Keith is what you’re doing. Watch him and make sure everything is okay for now. We just have to take these things one step at a time. That’s all in the past, right? Nothing bad happened to him so stressing over what might have been is only going to strain you, Lance.” The other boy nodded vaguely, glancing up from the floor to meet Shiro’s eyes. “On the bright side, if it had to be anyone, I think we can all agree that we’re glad it was you.”

“What?” Lance raised an eyebrow, looking at Shiro in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Getting Keith pregnant,” Shiro replied, tilting his head. “Obviously you two care about each other a lot. Maybe you’re not exactly there yet in terms of a relationship but there’s a lot of trust and a lot of mutual respect between you, right? If anyone is going to be there for Keith and the baby it’s you, Lance. You're dependable.”

Lance blushed but his chest was filled almost to bursting with happiness at the words of validation and trust. Then he felt a cold chill down his spine and turned away from Shiro.

“He’s...he’s not going to keep it,” Lance said softly.

Shiro sighed. “I know.”

“I...I want him to,” Lance admitted. It was the first time he even let himself think that.

“Have you talked with him?” Shiro asked softly.

Lance shook his head. “No. I mean, sort of. He told me that was what he wanted to do and I just told him I supported his decision. Which I totally do, by the way!”  
Shiro offered a small smile at that. “Yea, I know you do,” he agreed.

“I just didn’t bother to tell him that’s what I wanted because it’s kind of...irrelevant, isn’t it? I mean I’m not carrying it so I can’t really tell Keith that he has to go through this pregnancy and have this baby because that’s what I want.”

“I understand.” Shiro paused, it looked like he was thinking about something before he continued. “I just wonder if this is really what Keith wants or just what he thinks is the best thing to do.”

Lance considered that for a moment. “I don’t...I don’t know,” he admitted. “I don’t know why he would want to. I mean, he’s never really seemed like the kind of guy to think about kids and stuff like that. Besides, I’m probably the last person he’d want to have a baby with.”

“Why do you say that?” Shiro asked carefully. He looked at Lance’s hunched shoulders and the forlorn expression on his face. There were a lot of feelings there that Shiro was certain he’d never mentioned to Keith.

“Why not?” Lance snorted. “Keith’s like the best pilot of our generation. He’s the black paladin, the head of voltron. I’m just..just Lance. I’m not special at all. I’m just a boy from Cuba.”

“A boy from Cuba who became a paladin of voltron. The first paladin to find his lion, the person Blue waited 10,000 years for. You’re the right hand of Voltron now, Lance. Keith's right hand. We wouldn’t be here without you. Keith couldn't do any of this without you and he knows that,” Shiro insisted. “More than that, he cares about you. Keith doesn’t open up to anyone and he never lets anyone in. He did with you and that means something. Even if he’s closed himself off again.”

Lance looked up, his expression tentative but clearly hopeful. He searched Shiro’s face for any hint of a lie or teasing. “Thanks, Shiro,” Lance said softly. His face was bright red and he hid it in his hands. Shiro resisted the urge to laugh.

“I’ll talk to him,” Shiro promised, patting Lance on the back.

Lance hugged him before returning back to his own room. On the way there he couldn't help stopping outside Keith’s door. He considered knocking, asking if Keith needed anything or if he wanted a cuddle. He hoped he would but knowing Keith he wouldn't appreciate the interruption of his solitude so Lance changed his mind. As he turned away from the door, he couldn't help thinking that any chance he and Keith might of had at a future together was gone before it even had a chance to grow.

XXXX

Shiro knew by now the best way to approach Keith. He knew it had to be alone and he knew Keith’s defenses needed to be weak.

The time Coran said he needed was coming to a close and Keith was expecting him to be finished with his project any day now. He’d avoided talking to Lance or Shiro out of necessity. He didn’t think that he was strong enough to stick to his decision if they made him think too much about it. It was now that Shiro decided would be the best time to have a heart to heart.

“What did you want to talk about?” Keith asked. He stayed standing, thinking this conversation was going to be about Voltron and what they needed to do about Lotor now that they’d gathered new information.

“I wanted to ask how you’re doing,” Shiro said simply. Keith’s expression betrayed his surprise and the older man cut right to the chase. “I know you made your decision but now that it’s getting closer I just wanted to know if you’ve let yourself think about it a little more.”

“There’s nothing to think about Shiro, you know that,” Keith scowled. “This is the only way. I can’t afford to sit out of this right now. Not with…” He trailed off but Shiro knew what he meant. Not with Black rejecting Shiro. Keith was the only one who could lead Voltron right now.

“I know,” Shiro sighed. He looked at Keith for a long time. His expression was strange and Keith didn’t know what to say or even what his mentor was thinking. Finally, Shiro sighed again and sat down, patting the spot on the bed next to him. Keith hesitated but sat down.

“You’re young. You’re all so young and I wish you didn’t have to do this. You’re being asked to sacrifice so much to fight Zarkon and the Empire when you haven’t even had a chance to live yet. You’re all risking your lives here and I wish there was another way,” Shiro began. He glanced at Keith, the younger paladin watching him curiously.

Shiro closed his eyes and drew in a breath before placing a hand on Keith’s shoulder. “I know this hard for you Keith but I need to to imagine just for a moment that all you have to think about is your own happiness.” Keith was already opening his mouth to protest but Shiro held up his free hand to stop him. “Just pretend, Keith. Pretend you don’t have to think about this logically. Pretend you’re not in the middle of an intergalactic space war and that your only concern is for yourself. Do you still want to make the same decision?”

“It’s not that simple,” Keith insisted. “It’s not just me. I’m not even talking about the war or the Galra here. Okay, say I did keep...keep the baby…” He stumbled and Shiro remained silent, watching Keith catch himself. “Pretend we all make it back to Earth and I’m raising a baby on my own. Can I even give it a good life?” He snorted, shaking his head and Shiro knew not to answer. Instead he asked a different question.

“What about Lance? You wouldn't have to do it alone. He would help you. I’m sure his family would too.”

Keith looked at Shiro as though he’s sprouted a second head. “That’s the whole problem! Of course Lance would want to be there for his baby and take care of it. That’s what Lance does! But what is he going to say to his family? What happens when he falls in love for real and wants to start a family of his own but he has to tell his future spouse ‘oh by the way I totally had a part alien baby out of wedlock with this dude that was like my team mate in space’ or whatever. That’s fucked up. That would really take some acceptance and I know Lance. I know he wouldn't lie and he wouldn't hide it but that’s not the sort of thing everyone would just be okay with. I don’t want to ruin his life and his future because of some stupid mistake that I made.”

“Keith, you’re not ruining anything for Lance.” Shiro’s eyebrows shot up and his mouth dropped open as he looked at Keith. He knew there was a lot of over thinking going on but this was some next level stuff. “You don’t know any of that will even happen for one thing and for another it’s not your fault. You know that, right? There’s no way you could have known. You weren’t being totally irresponsible-”

“Yes I was!” Keith practically shouted. He stood up quickly, pacing the room like a caged animal. Shiro recognised the pent up energy and the tension held in his shoulders. He was reminded of the way Lance had paced his room the night before.

“I was irresponsible,” Keith continued. “I should never have indulged myself like that. What was I even thinking?! It was stupid of me to hook up with Lance like that. It was all going to come crashing down at some point and there’s just so much at stake. I can’t believe I would jeopardize our mission like this just because of Lance’s stupid blue eyes and his stupid smile and his stupid hands and-”

Shiro really didn’t know how long Keith was going to ramble on and quite honestly he didn’t want to hear him get to the end of it. Standing up, he took Keith firmly by the shoulders and made him look him in the eye.

“Keith,” Shiro said evenly. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with having feelings for Lance. There’s nothing wrong with having acted on those feelings, especially when Lance clearly feels the same way. There is a problem with a lack of communication between you two though. Do you honestly think that Lance is the type of person to hook up without having feelings involved?”

Keith shrugged.

“You know he’s been looking out for you,” Shiro said softly. “He's the one who tells us when you need something from one of us because he knows you won’t ask for Pidge to sit with you or to talk with me. He’s the one that told Hunk what your favorite foods are.”

Keith hadn’t known that. He frowned to himself, wondering how Lance was able to figure him out. He looked away, avoiding eye contact.

“Keith.” Shiro’s tone brought his gaze back to the older man’s face. Keith sighed.

“It’s complicated,” Keith bit his lip. Shiro gave a nod to encourage him. “Maybe he does sort of feel something but that’s here. In space. Lance likes the idea of being loved. He likes being with someone but who else is he going to be with? Allura rejected him and Hunk is his best friend so he doesn’t see him that way. Pidge is kind of young and you and Coran are a little old. No offense.” Keith’s expression was sheepish but Shiro couldn't help smiling.

“None taken,” he assured him. “But...Keith do you really think it’s just convenience?”

Keith shrugged. “Maybe. Some of it, yea. When we get back to Earth it will be different. We don’t have a lot of time for that stuff right now. On Earth Lance won’t be fighting a space war and he’ll be able to date and settle down and there’s going to be a lot more options. A lot more people better suited to him than I am. He’s just so...so Lance!” Keith threw his hands up into the air as though that explained it all.

Shiro sighed, silently begging any space deity that may be listening to bless him with the patience needed to deal with these two morons. It wasn't his place to tell Keith exactly what Lance had said. These talks were more or less private but he wished that Keith could have heard Lance saying almost this exact thing.

“Keith, you owe it to yourself to be honest about what you really want. Forget about the war and even forget about Lance for a moment. What do you want?”

Keith was silent. He looked away, staring at a particularly interesting spot on the floor. It was all the confirmation Shiro needed.

“Please talk to Lance. Be honest about how you feel,” Shiro pleaded gently. “I understand if you don’t want to change your mind. This isn’t an easy decision and I do understand that you’re taking a lot of factors into account but I also know you’re over thinking things just a bit.” He offered a small sile to lighten some of the tension. “Just please don’t close yourself off to us, Keith. Especially Lance. He really cares about you. It would mean a lot to him if you at least kept him updated.”

Keith nodded but didn’t make any verbal promises. Shiro knew it was the best that he could ask for at this point and drew Keith into a hug.

XXXX

Coran was finished.

He was very discreet as he came to Keith’s quarters alone and handed over a small vial of a strange pink liquid. The expression in his eyes was sad but resigned.

“You must take it within the week,” Coran instructed. “Drink the whole thing down. It’d be best with food. It will start to take effect within one hour. I won’t lie to you, my lad, it will not be pleasant. Perhaps someone should be with-”

Keith held up a hand and cut the Altean off. “I’ll be fine,” he assured him.

Coran stood there for a moment after nodding in understanding. He had assumed that would be Keith's response. The older man lingered longer than necessary, looking like he wanted to say something. Keith waited but he was clearly growing anxious and impatient to have this encounter over with.

Finally, Coran sighed and clapped Keith on the shoulder. “Take care of yourself,” was all he said before leaving Keith to his thoughts.

After the Altean left, Keith sat on his bed for...an hour? Two? He wasn’t sure. His knee bounced as he held the vial up between two fingers and swung it back and forth, watching the liquid swish. The conversation with Shiro played in his head.

_“Just pretend, Keith. Pretend you don’t have to think about this logically. Pretend you’re not in the middle of an intergalactic space war and that your only concern is for yourself. Do you still want to make the same decision?”_

Keith had known then what he wanted. He still wanted it. But he’d been right when he told Shiro it just wasn’t possible. When Shiro asked about Lance, Keith wanted to be honest, tell him that he wanted Lance’s baby but it wasn’t fair of him to commit his fellow paladin to something so permanent. Even if he was willing to do it.

_“What I mean is that we’re in this together, Keith. We’re partners. Whatever you need from me, I’m here. You’re not alone. I promise I’ll be there, no matter what.”_

It was too much to ask of Lance, of the boy who’d do anything for the people he cared about. Keith loved him and he only wanted what was best. He wanted Lance to have all the things he deserved.

It felt like his choice had been made as Keith trudged towards the bathroom. He stood in front of the mirror, staring at his reflection and holding the vial up. But he didn’t drink.

Every time Keith brough the liquid to his mouth, he hesitated before dropping his hand again. Finally, he set the vial carefully down on the sink and went to bed.

For the past week, he repeated this behaviour for a few hours before bed. On the last day, Keith was willing to admit that he just couldn’t do it. But nor could he tell the others his decision, especially Lance. That idiot would only spend too much time and energy worrying and fussing over him and it would be too easy for Keith to let him.

As he flushed the liquid down the toilet, Keith started to formulate a plan to hide his decision from the others.

XXXX

Keith knew he was already doing good work with Voltron but he still jumped at the chance to work closer with the Blade. It was his chance at escape, his chance to hide what he’d done from Lance and the others.

At first he just joined them on a few missions. Being the black paladin meant that Keith couldn't be away from his friends for too long but Keith knew how to keep people at arm’s length and slowly he began to phase himself out of the group. They got mad at him, felt like he was abandoning them and the guilt made him want to never leave his friends’ sides.

Whenever that happened Keith took a good look at Lance and reminded himself why it was best for them to be angry with him. It was easier to push someone away when they didn’t really want to see you anyway.

When Black took Shiro back, Keith saw the green light he’d been waiting for to finally join the Blade for good.

XXXX

Lance was lonely.

He shouldn't have been. He still had his best friend, Hunk and he still played video games with Pidge and flirted with Allura and talked with Shiro. He still listened to Coran’s stories and sat with Red, sometimes with Blue for old time’s sake. But something was missing.

Lance wasn’t stupid, he knew exactly what it was. He missed Keith. Missed him a lot. As hard as he tried, Lance couldn’t help being just a little bitter about the way things had ended. He knew things hadn’t just been physical between them. When Keith first closed himself off, Lance thought maybe he’d imagined the intimacy that had been growing between them. But he knew that he hadn’t, knew it from the way Keith looked at him whenever he was back from the Blade. He could see something in Keith’s eyes, a sadness and a longing that Lance felt too.

That’s why he didn’t understand how come Keith could just shut him out like that when they had a problem. Sure, an unplanned pregnancy, especially in the middle of an intergalactic war was more than just a little snag but Lance still wanted to be there to help. Even if all he could do was offer moral support and a shoulder to lean on. He still wanted to be involved and it hurt that he could be so easily cast aside.

Even when Keith was at the castle he didn’t talk with Lance alone. There was always someone else and even though they all knew what happened between the two paladins, it was never spoken about out loud. They never had a chance to talk openly and Lance never got the opportunity to pull Keith aside and ask him how he was doing, never got to give him a tender hug and rub his back the way he knew Keith liked but would never admit.

Lance just hadn’t wanted this to be the end of them, to have it finish before he even got a chance to really be with the boy he loved. Why could they be strong enough to get through this war together, but not this?

Hunk made Lance as many of his favorites as he could, hoping to cheer him up at least a little bit. One afternoon while Lance was doing his best to shovel the food in his face with enthusiasm, Kolivan hailed the ship.

“Wow, Hunk! You did it again,” Lance complimented, patting his stomach. He didn’t have much of an appetite lately but Hunk’s food was amazing and Lance wanted his best friend to know he appreciated it.

Hunk just smiled softly and opened his mouth to say something but Allura hurrying into the room made him stop. Her eyes roamed the kitchen frantically, locking onto Lance when he stood up. He could tell by the princess’ expression that whatever she had to say wasn’t good. It honestly scared Lance to see Allura shaken up. She was normally calm and collected under pressure.

“Lance, I think you should come to the bridge with me,” she said, obviously fighting to keep her tone from getting too high.

Lance’s frown deepened and he hurried after her. “Why me?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder to see that Hunk had discarded his apron and was also following behind.

“It’s Keith,” Allura said softly. Hunk met Lance’s eye with a worried expression but Lance kept his face neutral.

“Oh yea? What did that hot head do now?” he asked, trying for a joke. “Blow up a planet?”

Allura didn’t smile, didn’t even look amused and she didn’t answer him either.

“How soon?” Shiro was saying as the others entered the bridge.

Kolivan’s face was on screen and he looked just as grave as always. “Fifteen dobashes, roughly,” he replied.

Shiro nodded. “Alright. We’ll be waiting.”

The transmission ended after Kolivan gave a brief nod. “What is it? What’s going on?” Lance frowned as he looked between Shiro and the now blank screen. The older man was standing there, arms crossed and back completely straight. His face was tight, like he was holding something in. Lance didn’t like that look. It was the ‘deciding how to break bad news’ look.

“I’m afraid that Keith had been...injured,” Allura ventured, looking over at Shiro.

“But...but he’s going to be okay, right?” Lance asked. He thought about the blade, about how the mission always came first and how Keith always put everything before himself. Lance was always afraid of this, knew that the possibility of it happening was far too high to be comfortable. He swallowed and looked at Shiro again. “Right?”

His voice was soft and quiet, something in his tone clearly alerting the black paladin to the fact that he needed some reassurance. Shiro turned and clapped a hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“It’s bad enough that Kolivan called us right away. They aren’t sure what’s going to happen at this point but they are close enough that he thought it best to bring him here. The Altean healing pods are the best chance Keith has right now and even if there’s nothing...nothing we can do…” Shiro paused and Lance willed him not to cry. He could already see his eyes glistening. If he cried...If even Shiro broke down then it was bad. It was really bad. Lance put a hand on his shoulder and Shiro’s voice still didn’t waver as he went on. “Even if it is too late, Kolivan thought it best that he was here. With us. When it happens.”

Hunk made a whining noise behind him and Lance knew without looking that the yellow paladin was ringing his hands.

“Right,” Lance said, suddenly full of determination. That wasn’t going to happen, he’d decided. Keith was coming back and they just had to put him in a pod and get him all healed up and things would be fine. Just as long as they all kept themselves together for now. They could all fall apart later. “So, where’s Cporan? Is he prepping a pod?”

Shiro nodded slowly. “Yes. He went out as soon as Kolivan called.”

“Good,” Lance nodded. “So they'll dock in fifteen dobashes. What hanger is closest to the pods?” He turned to Allura and she seemed to snap out of whatever place her mind had gone. “There’s an empty hanger right beside Red that is close,” she replied, bringing the schematics up on the screen.

“Perfect. Okay. You should stay on the bridge so you can direct them and open the hanger. Shiro and I will meet them there,” Lance paused and looked around. “Where’s Pidge?”

“She’s with Coran,” Allura replied. her voice was more chipper now, happy to finally feel like she was doing something.

“Hunk, you should probably go down and help her and Coran,” Lance said, turning to the yellow paladin. Hunk blinked at him before nodding quickly.

“Right! Yea! Okay!” Now with a purpose, Hunk hurried out of the room and down to where the healing pods waited.

“Shiro?” Lance turned to the black paladin. He seemed lost in his own thoughts again but his gaze shifted to Lance right away.

“Good plan,” he said, leading the way out of the bridge and down to the hanger Allura directed.

The next twenty minutes passed in a blur. All Lance could remember was seeing Keith in Kolivan’s arms, still in his BOM suit. At least, Lance assumed. He was completely covered in blood. His hair was matted down on one side, crimson streaks sliding down his face. The suit was an odd colour, the whole thing completely soaked. Shiro insisted on taking him and cradled Keith against his chest as Lance led the way to the healing pods. Coran took one look and directed Shiro to get him inside right away. They didn’t have time to waste on cleaning him up and getting the cream coloured suit on him.

Everything felt surreal as Lance stood in front of the pod, all the paladins, Kolivan and another blade member stood in a semi circle as Coran held the data pad in his hand, eyes scanning over it quickly.

“What happened?” Lance demanded, finally tearing his eyes away to look up at Kolivan. The Galra towered over him but Lance’s body language and the look in his eyes made Kolivan take a step back.

“Something went wrong,” he replied, tight mouthed. Lance snorted but didn’t interrupt. “It was a trap but he insisted on pushing ahead anyway. Despite my orders.” There was a bitter tone to Kolivan’s words that made Lance catch Shiro’s eye in understanding. “Our mission was completed but…”

Kolivan trailed off, glancing at the other BOM member. He didn't really need to say anything more. Lance raised an eyebrow as he looked between them. “You went back for him? I thought you guys didn’t do that sort of thing.”

“We didn’t think it wise to leave behind the mate of one of the paladins,” Kolivan replied almost sheepishly.

Lance blinked at him. “What?!”  
“Oh…” He glanced at his companion for help but the other Galra only shrugged. “Right. I had...forgotten he explain the situation. That you are not…” Kolivan shifted awkwardly. “Forgive me. Galra mate for life. I understand that is not the way of your people.”

“Woah, woah, wait. Hold on there,” Lance waved his hands frantically in the air between them. “How did you know me and Keith….?”

“He is...carrying your child,” Kolivan replied, again looking very awkward. He clearly didn’t want to say nore.

Lance’s face paled at that. Hadn’t Keith decided not to….?

Before Lance could figure out how he felt about this, Coran made a startled noise that brought everyone's attention onto him. He didn't seem too pleased by this and tried to wave it off.

“Oh, nothing, nothing at all,” he assured them. “Just um…” His eyes locked onto Lance’s.

“What is it Coran?” Allura asked. Lance felt her hand slip into his and he squeezed it gratefully.

“Our large purple friend here is correct. Keith was very recently with child but….not anymore…” His expression was one of regret and Lance swallowed hard.

Why was that so difficult to hear when this whole time he’d been under the impression that Keith had already made that decision himself?

“I am sorry for your loss,” Kolivan said after a long, awkward silence. His hand was heavy on Lance’s shoulder. The paladin nodded and held himself together enough to look up and thank him.

The two Galra left soon after but no one else moved. Eventually, exhaustion overtook him and Lance sat down, leaning against the side of the pod. Hunk sat beside him , gently rubbing his back. Pidge hunkered down at his feet, letting Lance run his fingers through her hair and make small braids, like he use to do with his little sister.

XXXX

It was a full ten hours before Coran was able to determine that all injuries would heal and Keith was going to be okay. It was the worst hours of Lance’s life.

After that, they opened the pod and allowed Lance to strip off Keith’s suit and clean him up. He insisted on doing it himself while the others gave him some privacy. Lance took his time, carefully washing the blood from Keith’s body. There were still wounds not totally healed and large bruises all over his body. Lance didn’t know what the damage looked like on the inside but at least he wasn’t bleeding all over the place and he was glad for that.

Lance paused, hand over Keith's stomach. At least with Keith still out cold, he couldn't see Lance cry. No one could right now. It was a relief after holding it all together so long. He didn't want them all to see that but he needed this. The tears flowed, blurring his vision, forcing him to pause to wipe the liquid away with the back of his hand.

Lance didn’t want to take too long, knowing he should get Keith back in the pod to finish healing. He gently slid the cream coloured suit over the other boy’s body and lifted him off the table. It was disconcerting how Keith's body flopped, offering no resistance.

He was pretty heavy but Lance managed to maneuver him into the pod and seal it up. Coran had showed him exactly what to do, just one button to reactivate it where he had paused the healing sequence.

Lance stepped back and took a seat on the ground, leaning his forehead up against the cool surface of the pod. That was how Shiro found him two hours later when he came to tell Lance to get some rest and take a turn watching Keith.

“I’ll tell you as soon as he gets out,” Shiro assured him for the sixth time as Lance hesitated by the door. “We all will.” They’d already set up a schedule where someone was with the pod at all times. Even though it wasn’t strictly necessary, it made them all feel a lot better.

Lance nodded and turned towards the door. He didn't want to leave but he’d already argued with everyone on the ship and no one was budging. He was pretty sure Shiro and Allura were this close to tying him to his bed if he didn’t go on his own.

“And Lance?” Stopping, Lance glanced over his shoulder at Shiro. The older man smiled. “You were great today. Good job.”

XXXX

Keith stayed in the pod a few days. They kept to the schedule they'd made up, at least one person keeping watch at all times though more often than not, several of them would come to hang around. Just being in the same room felt somehow reassuring even though they knew they weren’t doing anything.

“I like to think he can tell we’re here,” Hunk said one day as Lance sat with his head in the yellow paladin’s lap. “Like maybe he senses it or something and knows that we care about him. Maybe that will help him get better.”

Lance had smiled and nodded, telling Hunk he hoped so to.

He was in the room with Pidge during her few hours when the pod started beeping. Lance’s head perked up and he followed Pidge over to the controls.

“What’s happening?” Lance asked, glancing over at the green paladin.

“It’s basically saying it’s done everything it can. He’s ready to come out,” she replied. Her voice was soft as she looked up at Lance. “I’ll let Coran know.”

Lance nodded and left Pidge to the comms as he approached the pod. Pidge hit a button that initiated the shutdown and Lance watched the pod open, Keith starting to fall forward. He took a clumsy step, eyes slowly opening. Lance’s hands were already on his waist, gently guiding him forward and slipping an arm around his shoulders.

“Lance?” Keith’s voice was slurred and his eyes were blurry as he looked at the boy holding him.

“Yea, it’s me,” Lance grinned. The look he gave Keith was soft and fond. Keith looked confused, eyes searching Lance’s face with slow blinks.

“You’re not dead,” he said with such finality Lance had to laugh.

“Nope. You’re right about that,” he replied. “Neither are you, buddy.”

Keith seemed confused by this statement, head turning as he looked around. Pidge came around the controls and stood in front of them.

“Pidge?” Keith asked, like he was surprised to see her there. The green paladin nodded, looking too overwhelmed to actually say anything.

The last thing Keith remembered was everyone else coming through the doors and saying his name. Shiro would later tell him that they took him to get something to eat before Lance settled him in to sleep.

Keith thought he remembered a blanket being tucked around him and warm hands brushing back his hair, soft lips against his forehead and a whispered “good night.”

XXXX

Shiro told him about the baby the next day. Keith already knew. It wasn’t hard to figure out there was no way it could have survived. Even if he hadn’t been able to work it out for himself, he could feel it. Something was missing.

He told Shiro it was for the best even though he didn’t believe it. Shiro never asked him why he lied. No one made mention of it. They asked how he was feeling and if he was going back to the blade.

Keith told them he wasn’t sure.

XXXX

“Come in.”

Keith was frowning down at the blade in his hand when Lance entered the room. He slid it under his pillow with a sigh before looking up. “Shiro-”

Lance just smiled back. “Sorry, just me.” He tried not to show his hurt when Keith quickly turned his face away.

“What?” he asked brusquely.

Lance sighed as he sat down on the bed beside him. He hesitated a moment before placing a hand on Keith's shoulder. “I just think we need to talk.”

“About what?” Keith asked, still keeping his gaze on his hands.

“Keith. Look at me,” Lance whispered. “Please.”

Keith slowly turned his head. Lance was startled to see tears already starting to fall. A lump formed in his throat. His mouth opened and closed several times but nothing came out. Instead, Keith found himself being pulled into Lance’s arms, head against his chest and a large hand stroking his back.

His tears soaked into Lance’s shirt and he could feel Lance’s own tears dropping into his hair. Their arms tightened around each other to pull the other close.

It felt like an eternity before the crying turned into quiet sniffles and Lance pulled away enough to wipe Keith’s tears. “I just want to know...why you didn’t tell me you changed your mind,” Lance said softly. “I’m not mad. I just want to know.”

“Because...because if I told you...then you’d want to be involved,” Keith whispered. Lance was able to hear no matter how quietly he spoke. “I hid at the Blade so you wouldn't know. So you wouldn’t see.”

Lance swallow hard. Keith could feel it from where he was still pressed close to his chest. Lance had thought he’d cried himself dry but as it turned out, he still had a few tears left. The comment hit him like a truck, making him want to double over in physical pain.

“You didn’t want me involved with the baby,” Lance clarified. Keith was silent in his arms but he was shaking so hard Lance though he might have been having a seizure. When he was able to look Keith in the face, he saw that the dark haired boy was sobbing again. Huge tears trailed down his face and his mouth opened and closed in silent gasps.

“Keith, hey. No, it’s okay. It’s okay,” Lance wrapped his arms tighter around him and rocked him gently. He sang softly in Spanish. Gentle lullabies that filled Keith’s chest with warmth but also caused a sharp pain in his heart.

“It’s not that,” Keith choked out when he was able to speak again. Lance said nothing, only stroked his hair in encouragement. “I did want that. I wanted to keep it because...because it was _your_ baby. That was a part of you I could keep forever and finally have someone...someone who loved me. Like a family. But….but I couldn't let you throw your life away for me.”

“What?” Lance blinked in confusion and pulled away enough to look Kieth in the face. Even though the other boy tried to duck his head, Lance gently lifted his chin to make him look up. “How would that be throwing my life away?” he asked softly. “I...love you Keith. I know that’s a huge responsibility on top of out current gigantic responsibilities but if anyone could make it work it’s us, right?”

Keith closed his eyes, drawing in a shaking breath and mentally preparing what he had to say. “I know you, Lance. Family is so important to you. You’d do anything for me and the baby. I know that. But what about after this? What about when you want to start a family. On Earth. What are you going to tell them? Are you going to explain how you accidentally knocked up your team mate and have been raising your part alien baby with him in a castle spaceship and you want the baby to come live with you on weekends and holidays? Who do you think would be okay with that, Lance? I couldn’t let you potentially sabotage your chances at a happy future. Not when you deserve so much.”

Lance just stared at him, blue eyes searching Keith’s purple ones. “So...so you already decided you don’t want to be with me….romantically…” Lance breathed out, just trying to figure out how Keith had made such far leaps into the future.

“What? No, that’s not what I mean,” Keith frowned. “I mean, if we were together here, in space and then went back to Earth and...and ended things…”

“You don’t want to be with me on Earth? Only in space?” Lance frowned, unable to understand why that made such a difference.

“No!” Keith groaned, sounding exasperated. He looked so much  like the Keith Lance was used to that he couldn't help a small smile. “There’s more options on Earth, you know. You don’t have to be with me anymore. You could be with whoever you want. You know, someone that actually deserves you and that  your family would like.”

Lance frowned, tilting his head. “I don’t care how many choices I have. I’d still pick you. I mean, I wanted to pick you when we were still on Earth but you never gave me a chance to talk to you when we were at the Garrison. Space was kind of my only shot so I hoped that we could continue this back home…” Lance paused, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Besides, I think my family would really like you. I mean, yea there might be some explaining to do if I show up back home with a boyfriend and a baby but,” Lance just shrugged his shoulders and gave Keith a little smile.

Keith stared at him, a frown still on his face. “I...I still...we’re young…”

“People have babies at our age and sometimes younger,” Lance replied, looking unfazed by it. “It helps to have family support, which we would obviously. Our family here, on the castle, they would support us. You know that, and back home I have a huge family. Tons of babysitters and people to ask for advice. I mean my parents alone raised six children, think of the collective knowledge my aunts and uncles would all have!”

Despite himself, Keith couldn’t help a small smile forming on his face. “But...we are still in the middle of a war…”

“True,” Lance replied, nodding thoughtfully. “But you know what they say, there never is a right time.”

Keith finally had to laugh at that. It was so ridiculous, all these enormous worries that had weighed on his shoulders and Lance brushing them off like nothing. He should have known, it was what Lance did after all. He reminded them, Keith the most, that they were never alone and there was never a task too big that they couldn't handle it with their combined efforts.

Lance smiled when he saw that soft, gentle laugh. The tightness of his chest and the weight on his shoulders that had been there since this whole situation started immediately lessened. Without thinking, Lance leaned forward and pressed their lips together. It was quick and soft but he felt Keith respond to it nonetheless.

“Not that it matters anymore…” Keith sighed, that haunted look returning to his face. “I...I lost it anyways so….” He trailed off, eyes starting to fill again. “I’m sorry Lance. I really am.” Keith buried his face in his hands. “I’m so sorry. I can’t do anything right.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Lance said softly. He gently took Keith’s wrists  in his hands and moved them away from his face. “You’re safe, that’s what matters.”

“But I shouldn’t have….I…” Kieth started to say.

Lance pressed a finger to his lips and shook his head. “My mom had two miscarriages when she was younger. My big sister had one and my aunt had three. It happens sometimes. Everyone was very sad. It hurts and you don’t really ever get over it. But it happens anyway. It doesn't mean they did anything wrong or that they weren’t good enough. So don’t start thinking that.”

“But I _did_ do something wrong,” Keith insisted. “If I hadn’t been so stubborn or if I hadn’t tried to hide it from you, been so desperate, I-”

Lance cut him off again, this time with another gentle kiss on the lips. Then his cheek and his nose and the top of his head. “Don’t beat yourself up. It happened and there's nothing you can do now,” Lance replied firmly. “Right now we have other things to worry about.”

“Like what?” Keith asked, looking suspicious.

“Do you want to be together, for real?” Lance asked softly. “Just be honest this time. Don’t try to be logical, just do what you do best and answer on the fly.”

“Yes,” Keith replied. Lance beamed, pulling him close again.

“Good. Okay. So that's settled then. Are you going to go back to the Blade or stay here with me?”

Keith hesitated then. “I don’t...I’m not sure yet. I’m doing good work there and...I’m not useful here….”

“Ah ah ah!” Lance wagged a finger at him. “I told you not to try to be logical, mister!”

Keith tried and  failed to hide a smile. “No.”

“Good. Great. Awesome,” Lance replied, clearly trying to contain his excitement. “So, that’s settled then.” Lance shifted, tugging Keith along with him as he laid back against Keith's bed.

“Yea,” Keith said softly. He went along with it, resting his head on Lance’s chest and listening to his heart beating. “I’m still sorry…”

“I know,” Lance sighed, stroking a hand through Keith’s hair. “And I’m still going to tell you not to be. As long as you promise me one thing.”

“What is it?” Keith looked up, shifting so his chin rested on Lance’s chest.

“Promise me that we’ll be partners this time around. Real partners, okay? You tell me if something is up and don’t hide things from me.”

Keith thought for a moment, nodding slowly. “If you do the same,” he agreed.

Lance looked surprised for a moment, close to protesting that he didn’t hide anything before his expression softened and he smiled. “Deal,” he murmured. The smile grew when Keith leaned in to close the distance and kissed him.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> FULL DISCLAIMER: I have little idea what I'm doing writing pregnancy and stuff. Hope you liked it and comments are always welcomed!


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